Why are some healthy habits so much easier to maintain than others? Why do some lessons seem to stick with our students, or certain students, much more than others? What strategies can we use to teach lessons that will stick for a lifetime?

To answer these questions, we explore how personal identity is linked to behavior and motivation.

Oyserman, D. and Destin, M. researched identity-based motivation and concluded: when action feels identity-congruent, experienced difficulty highlights that the behavior is important and meaningful. But when action feels identity-incongruent, the same difficulty suggests that the behavior is pointless and “not for people like me.” (Identity-based motivation: Implication for intervention; 2011. Journal of Counseling Psychology.)

I identify as a practicing Roman Catholic. On Sunday mornings, especially when my wife is working, as good as my bed or couch may feel, getting the kids up and ready for Mass and out the door may be challenging, but the behavior is important and meaningful, as it is aligned with my identity. I am motivated to persist.

I have witnessed countless people hitting Day 3 or 8 or 22 of their daily treadmill workout plan to lose weight, only to succumb to a single “this is so not for me” thought. “I am not one of THESE people”, “I will never be a health nut” … and they head home, only to make another attempt down the road.

If you identify as a teacher – you understand the challenges of grading papers, developing lesson plans, and helping out before and after school. But what happens when you are asked to do something out of your perceived scope or identity, maybe to paint the walls or fix a desk. Your initial thought might be, I’m not a maintenance person, I’m not a painter. Maybe this happens to us early in our careers, until we understand what all is involved and expected in our role, and our identity then evolves to match. It becomes (more) congruent. Or the opposite may happen, you never identify with these other tasks, resentment builds, and you eventually quit the endeavor.

Who among your students identifies as an athlete, a jock, or gifted, a musician, or one who struggles to read. When dodge ball day arrives in P.E. class, the “athletes” might be ready to go, while the others may find the game annoying. Faster, more aggressive games may be incongruent with their identities. It’s not to say we cannot have many healthy, overlapping identities, and getting out of one’s comfort zone is key to personal growth. We are also not trying to stereotype or label our students, but understand why they may be motivated in one class or lesson more than on other days. This helps design balanced lessons including non-competitive, exploratory games, sports-related activities (team and individual), and personal fitness goal-oriented drills.

One great question to ask your students is suggested by Kyle Schwartz in her TED Talk: What kids wish their teachers knew is: “what is one thing you wish I knew to help you teach you better? This question may give a glimpse of your student’s self-identity, and also speaks to other factors influencing their behavior as we see below.

Another way we can discuss identity is in the context of factors influencing the human experience.